Speaking up by those younger in years is frowned upon by our (Indian) society’s standards. If the speaking up is done by the ‘wrong gender’ then be assured that all hell breaks loose.

Case in point is a recent occurrence where a young woman showed the gumption to speak up about something that was troubling many of us. Children were using the entrance and exit way to the apartment as a playground for playing games like football and cricket. On more occasion than one people have had balls come flying at them out of nowhere. I myself have only narrowly escaped injury on two separate occasions.

Since there is no other space for the children to play, residents here so far have been magnanimous and not raised any objection. So the hours between 4 and 6-30 p.m have been theirs to play, with only brief pauses in their game for vehicles to pass through. Personally I try my best and avoid passing through during ‘play’ time, but it is not always possible to do so. Children (these are 10-12 year olds) as we all know forget themselves while playing and are likely to run into you and make you fall or cause other injury with their ball.

And that’s just what happened one day. This not being the first time, she decided to speak up about wrongly using an area meant for vehicles and pedestrians, as a playground. Others came forward with their own precarious brush with balls.

Now, the reaction this caused had to be seen to be believed.

The parents swung into action as one immediately. There was no looking at the matter dispassionately and evaluating, no apologies for the inconvenience caused, not even a little bit of soul-searching. They came out guns blazing in support of the Right Of Their Children To Play. Umm… well, never mind that it was no playground but a thoroughfare for the residents. But then who gives importance to such ‘minor’ matters. Eh?

Another puzzling matter was of rights. Apparently children have rights. Nothing, not one word about the rights of others, adults and children alike, the Right Of Way, as a means of access to their place of residence. The words thrown around freely included choice ones like, ‘silly matter’, ‘exaggeration’, ‘making mountain out of a molehill’, and the best of all, ‘false propaganda’ about ‘good’ children (as if when good children throw balls it wouldn’t hurt anyone!)

The out and out aggressive attitude from the males was to be expected, as also from some of the women who were but the obedient foot soldiers of patriarchy. So what else is new?

But

What raised my hackles, and what made me write this post, was something I heard from one of the women. “She could have spoken in a less confrontational manner, with a bit more humilty.”

WHOA! There it is!

Women have to be soft-spoken, present their cases in a less hostile manner, be humble. It behoves them to be pleasing to others even when she is the wronged one. What is this, the fourteenth century?

Frankly, where was the confrontational attitude? Was it in the confident way the young woman presented facts? Was it in the no nonsense approach of hers? Anyway, how do people even gauge the level of hostility from written words? Do they have some little known machine to measure levels of confrontation from words appearing on screen, something called THEIR OWN BIAS?

[Believe me, I have had to face this kind of bullshit too many times. People read what they want into what you write and then cry foul. Too confrontational. Too much head weight. Temper. Proud. They read what’s not there. They read in others words what’s present IN THEIR OWN HEARTS. So, what they need to do is read their own bleddy self first before going about measuring levels of hostility in others’ words.]

Anyway

There you have it. When someone, a young woman especially, acts in a strong manner, all sorts of people feel threatened. People tend to forget that it is no longer the world we grew up in where women were expected to be seen and not heard, had to ‘please’ those around, never ever get angry. Young women of today, at least many of them, know their mind, are go-getters, are not going to shy away from standing their ground and speaking up. And I for one am glad for that. Here’s to more of her kind!

©️ Shail Mohan 2024

Note: As I will be out of station the #aprilblogathon will have to be paused for the next three days.