What happens when you are caught in the midst of two of your friends who have fallen out? I know what most people would do. They’d get into advisor cum mediator mode and get to work to make them come back together and be friends again. But that’s easily said than done, isn’t it?
For one, I am not good at mediating. NOT AT ALL. There’s a reason. I believe in the autonomy (is that the right word?) of each one. I leave people alone to do as they wish. It is up to them, I feel. People are adults and need to make their own decisions, right or wrong. Period. The need to make up, the change in attitude, the acceptance… it should all come from within themselves.
For another, the nature of people differ. Unlike some it is not easy for others to forgive and forget and go back to being their old selves as if nothing of import had happened, as if no harsh words were spoken. The new knots in what was till then a smooth thread cuts into them. So they prefer to quietly remove themselves from it all and keep a dignified distance. I should know, I am one of them. So who am I to tell them to forgive and forget?
Most all people I know are the ‘interfering-for-the-good-of-everyone’ type. I am more of the rare kind, the ‘not-interfering-for-the-good-of-everyone’ type. I watch from the side-lines, and wait for things to right themselves.
Being true to my nature, I cannot tell one that she shouldn’t have. I cannot tell the other she should have. Both of them continue to remain my friends, but we are no longer the carefree threesome we used to be. The easy camaraderie is missing from our interactions as a team. There is stiff formality between two of the three. That’s why I am quietly mourning.
©️ Shail Mohan 2024
Shail's Nest 
Your story echoes with an experience I have had. The ‘stiff formality’ is familiar to me. I have allowed threesome activities to fade away for it is easier that way.
Looks like it’s the same way for me too, Anne.
I know this feeling all too well. I try to stay out of people’s business but, as you say, sometimes that makes getting all together a little awkward. Increasingly I find the answer is just to stay away completely! You rarely fall out with birds and dogs – much better companions!
You are absolutely right about the birds and dogs being better companions. They are the best!
Agreed. It’s not any of our business when there is tiff between a select few. Live and let live and don’t let it affect you.
“For another, the nature of people differ. Unlike some it is not easy for others to forgive and forget and go back to being their old selves as if nothing of import had happened, as if no harsh words were spoken. The new knots in what was till then a smooth thread cuts into them. So they prefer to quietly remove themselves from it all and keep a dignified distance. I should know, I am one of them. So who am I to tell them to forgive and forget?”
I think you should make a topic on “Forgive and forget” itself. This is something I have a lot to say on lol. It’s easily misconstrued. But yes, people are different from one another and handles it differently.
People and their approach indeed differ. I too have a lot to say on ‘forgive and forget’. I am not sure if I have !said it already. Hmm… will have to go back and check.
Couldn’t find it anywhere. Will look forward to it if you do make a post on it !