Don’t worry. I am not going to advise you, only writing about advice, the unwanted kind and the people who give it freely, which is a totally different thing. Besides, this is my blog and as my friends have pointed out, I can write whatever I want.
Anyways, getting back to the topic…
The world, it seems to me, is full of people who are just waiting for you to open your mouth to start advising you on just about anything. I am not joking. Before the first word leaves your mouth there they are, plates heaped with steaming hot advice pushed under your nose, figuratively speaking, with cries of ‘Eat this eat this!’
This propensity of people to dole out advice, unsolicited mind you, time and again SIMPLY ASTOUNDS ME. I do agree not all fall into this category. There are a few, very very few, and you need only the fingers of one hand to count them, who are good at listening. The majority unfortunately are those who feel they simply have to say something.
That’s it. They HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING. It is like some kind of compulsion at advising. Never mind that the other person has not asked for help. Never mind that the other person is an adult and knows what to do. Never mind that they were just letting off steam, or just sharing their general despondency because they thought you were close enough to lend them an ear.
But no! Listening is so passé, right? Ears are so overrated. Or maybe it is that the ear is too precious and can never be lent. The tongue though is a different matter. It is as cheap as they come. It is let loose without a thought and gets in on the act almost immediately. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Recently I had the unfortunate experience of… Oh, who am I kidding! My life is full of such experiences. For some reason I am an Easy Target, people ALWAYS give me unwanted advice. Period. Like I wrote in an earlier post (link below), maybe I have a duffer gene that makes me susceptible to unsolicited advice.
The irony is that there is NOTHING THAT ANNOYS ME more than people taking it upon themselves to offer me solutions where none are needed. Don’t do blah blah,. Do this, blah blah. Why are you blah blah? Why don’t you blah blah? You should blah blah. You shouldn’t blah blah. This when I have made it clear in so many words that I am allergic to unasked for advice.
What amazes me is that neither the salt and pepper hair on my head nor the wrinkles on my face seem to deter the eager-beavers with the advising fever. Sigh. You know what I dread? That when I am old and on my death bed there will be someone or other who’ll come up to me and say, ‘Why are you dying? You can actually not die, you know. All you should do is blah blah blah….’
©️ Shail Mohan 2024
Link to an earlier post:
Shail's Nest 
Oh Shail! It IS good to hear from you again 🙂
It feels good to be here, Anne 🙂
That’s all very well, but what you should really…
Oh no Mick, not you too 😉
I hear you. It seems that the older I get the more people want to advise me on how to live my life.
I am not alone it seems!
Good to know that both the giving of unasked for advice and the hatred of receiving it are not just British qualities. We are, however, very good at the former and lavish it everywhere we go…
Haha Ken. I didn’t know they are British qualities too! Not moving there ever :p
This is well said Shail. I agree, but I admit for me sometimes I don’t mind people giving advice if I suspect they are being helpful and not stir anything. Other times it is that and I’m with you on that. At the end of the day, I know I can choose to take their advice or not 🙂
And happy new year! I have a lot of catching up to do lol.
Thank you. Glad to note you are back! 🙂
I am quite allergic to advice as I find most of it redundant. For example if I tell someone I found what I wanted, they immediately tell me where I have to look for it. 🙄