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My inner self and I are good friends.

Well. Most of the time.

There are no secrets between us, everything is open for scrutiny. Matters are discussed and dissected between us in a calm and frank manner before arriving at decisions.

Well. Most of the time anyway.

She always holds my hand when no one else is here and points out where I have gone wrong. She makes me understand why it all went wrong. She tells me of triggers and also how I can rectify matters. I take her advice seriously.

Well. Most of the time anyway.

She always tells me right away when it is not my fault, bless her! It is just the way things are. There is no rhyme or reason to this world. I agree wholeheartedly with her. We try to change what we can and accept the rest, that’s how things run, she adds. I scoff. This, I am sure she picked up from some positivity club she has been eavesdropping on, She doesn’t deny it. Gotcha, there! I tell her. But I obey her nonetheless.

Well. Most of the time anyway.

Sometimes she is quick to stop me from blundering at other times though she is slow to react and I have already put my foot in my mouth. She is patient and doesn’t blame me. Instead she takes me through what happened step by step, till I find/accept the answer, her answer, not mine.

Well. Most of the time anyway.

Today, I was extremely angry. Someone comfortably placed had spoken disparagingly of another who was unfortunately placed in life. How could I be silent? I wasn’t and spoke my mind.

You could have done better than that, says my inner self. How about trying to make them understand? I am curt with her. You know I have, innumerable times. Anyway, I dislike those who think people less fortunate than us can be mocked, dismissed or spoken of in that manner. I simply hate such injustice. My reaction was instinctive.

My inner self scoffs. Fat lot of good your instinctive reaction has done. You were positively glowering. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? You could surely have had your say in a more affable manner and avoided the pangs you are now feeling! she says sanctimoniously. Ha! That’s where I disagree with you. I was indeed angry, I admit and I don’t like being angry. But I stand by what I said. I will live with the pangs.

©Shail Mohan 2022