The other day I was holding the door open for my parents while coming out of the eye hospital where I had accompanied them. As soon as they walked out and before I could leave my hold on the door and follow them too, a young couple entered, and giving me just a cursory glance, walked through, as if I was the doorkeeper at my job and they the entitled-to-have-doors-held-open customers.
I am not a violent person by nature. But watching them carry on without so much as a backward glance of acknowledgement, let alone a ‘thank you’ (and also because this was the nth time it was happening to me), I wished I had let go my hold and the heavy glass door had smashed their sorry faces.
Recently I found myself holding the door open to first one then another and then a third set of people, all of whom filed through without a thought (and more were coming) till finally I stopped the next person hurrying through with a curt nod towards the door and then left my hold on it.
Since this has been happening fairly often with me, I have come to the conclusion there is an invisible sign on my forehead which says, ‘Door-Opener Lady’. Or may be I am invisible (though I cannot understand how that can come to be!) in which case I must try and shake things up a bit with a few tricks of my own 😉
©Shail Mohan 2017
Anne said:
Some people seem to be born with a sense of entitlement!
shail said:
True, that.
Traci York said:
I’ve had this happen a number of times myself. I’m always tempted to say loudly, “Have a great day!” to see if they respond (I feel something like, “You’re welcome” is a tad too snarky, though my hubby has suggested it before).
Of course, if I were brave enough, I’d exclaim, “YOU’VE WON!” As they came back through the door to see their prize, I’d motion to them to take the door, move through it myself, and say, “You’ve won the opportunity to do a kindness to the next person walking in!” evil grin
shail said:
Traci, those are some excellent ideas from you. I am doubled up with laughter! 😀
Journeywoman said:
That annoys the crap out of me too. I must have the tattoo too!
shail said:
Ahh, I have company now! 🙂
Mel said:
Ha — I have noticed the same thing. I have begun turning around to look the person in the face behind me so they get the message that they should take the door and then pass the weight to the next person, etc.
shail said:
Good for you, Mel.
Mysoul said:
This is your US visit Hangover 😉 I notice that when I get to India, I have to revert back to being less considerate, less kind, more watchful and alert about my surroundings and relearn all the tactics that others use, else I will be left holding the door, the bag, the (name your thing here). Its just people with different values…Holding the door is courtesy in the US but in India it means you are doing a lowly job of holding the door. Yes, I do understand the concept of dignity of labour and respect for the person but as sad and mad as I feel, this is how the others think. And no, I am not dissing my people when I say this…I am just stating the reality as I observed it.
shail said:
Lol, Mysoul, I have always been polite and a door-opener, right from the start, before I ever knew of a country called United States of America. But if you must give credit to someone then it most certainly has to be Enid Blyton and her many books I devoured.
No, I don’t think they looked down on me when they walked through the open door (not held open for them), THEY DID NOT SEE ME AT ALL, only what they could get out of the situation to their advantage. 🙂
Modern Gypsy said:
It is so annoying when people take your politeness for granted! Really makes you want to smack those entitled folks, doesn’t it?
shail said:
Yes! It is no fun being taken for granted.
Mick Canning said:
I admit I do say ‘You’re welcome!’ quite loudly and glare.
shail said:
Mick, this I must do, that is just as soon as I find out how to say ‘you’re welcome’ in Malayalam!
Beat About The Book said:
People seriously need lessons in basic courtesy. As if a smile or a thank you would tax them ever so much.
shail said:
Tell me about it. The same thought occurred to me too.