Parents are just a pair of fallible humans. They married young, like we have, as might our children some day if they so choose to. Though it might be hard to believe, parents also started off inexperienced and learnt things along the way, the same as everyone else, stumbling, falling and picking themselves up.
In addition, they are repositories of all sorts of human frailties: they get unreasonably angry, are sore losers, shout and scream when stressed or sometimes even when not because they can get away with it. They are unfair, make wrong decisions, fly into a rage, throw and break things, pretend they know a lot when they clearly don’t, are scared, act cowardly, palm off blame onto others, are partial to one of their children and hurtful and mean to another for no reason. They shame children, also guilt trip them by talking of their own supposedly harder times, don’t care for their own parents, stop speaking to other family members over silly, imagined slights. They are perfectly capable of being jealous, cunning, proud, lazy, devious, cruel, abusive, selfish, dominating. sloppy, insensitive, least bothered, vindictive, couldn’t care less, yada yada yada.
Don’t be shocked. I am not saying ALL parents are ALL of the above, but definitely that they are some of them, some of the time, a mixture of the positive and the negative in differing proportions, like we as parents are, like our children will be, unless the future holds some element of magic to turn things around for humans. Till such time as that, can we please put a sock in it, be real for a change and stop using ‘parents’ as synonymous with ‘saints’?
©Shail Mohan 2015
cheerfultornado said:
Facebook can be such an eye-opening experience to the inner workings of these awesome people. So well-put. They never cease to shock me, with their acerebral capacity.
shail said:
Acerebral. Lol, I love that 😉
Usha Pisharody said:
Bingo. As parents they/we are as fallible as they come!
Great, honest writing as always!
shail said:
Thanks, Usha. I am glad at least a few of us are aware, rather accept that 🙂
UmaS said:
ha ha…trust you to put it across so well 😀
Of course, I’m not a saint – for sure 😉
But there is this big circle of relatives who look down on me and my hubby enjoying life without my daughters around…as though its a big crime…
Anyway…my foot for their thought…I’ll be as I’ll always be 😀
shail said:
I hear you, Uma. Lol, trust relatives to have screwed perceptions about how a couple should behave when the children are grown up. 😛
Shilpa Gupte said:
Wow! I so agree with you, Shail! And, even though I am.not a parent, I cringe in embarrassment, for I know I too am many of those things, yet appear to.be a saint! Good Lord! I do hope I get forgiven for it all.
shail said:
Those who are not mothers yet and their male counterparts too claim sainthood for parents, not for themselves but for their parents 🙂
dreamzandclouds said:
Aptly put….parents are humans with their own set of positives and negatives…..loved your post Shail! 🙂
shail said:
Thanks, M. 🙂
hina chawla said:
Loved the way you have put across the things we often don’t admit to ourselves…yes parents are not saints and they have the right to make mistakes as we all have been making throughout our lives 🙂
shail said:
Thank you, Hina. I am glad you are able to accept it too 🙂
Saya said:
😀 or parents synonymous for perfection… its a bit sad when you realize they are human beings ..just like others..isn’t it..
shail said:
I have never thought they were perfect and hence have never understood those who claim they are perfect 🙂
Saya said:
I thought they were when I was still a teen..atleast mom .. 🙂
shail said:
🙂
Gulshan. said:
The people who think parents are always right
Are certainly the kind that are not very bright
Fallible humans we all are
Age and stature are no bar
And tarnished halos aren’t a pretty sight!
shail said:
How well put, Gulshan! Thank you. 🙂
CookieCrumbsInc. (@meepeevee) said:
Its very difficult to see parents are flawed. I had a hard time dealing with the fact that my mother is absolutely horrible with money.
shail said:
Haha. That’s funny. Yes, there are all kinds among parents too 🙂
parulthakur24 said:
Fabulous post and it’s okay to know that parents learnt along with children. The good learners became great parents and the not so good ones had a hard time.
shail said:
Bingo. You have put it well. Learners become great parents in spite of not being perfect. 🙂 Thank you 🙂
Vinitha said:
Yes, parents are just humans, imperfect as anyone else. Becoming a parent doesn’t make anyone a saint just as becoming older doesn’t make anyone worthy of respect by itself. 🙂 Loved this post for many reasons. My parents are/were sometimes the worst.
shail said:
Agree! Growing old does not make anyone wise by default either. Thank you. 🙂
Shailaja/ The Moving Quill said:
Nope. Not a saint. Never professed to be one and I hope I never will. My daughter, and sometimes the world, sees all my frailties. I think that’s important for them to grow up with a sense of reality as well as compassion. Interestingly conveyed, Shail. As always 🙂
shail said:
Sense of reality. Yes, it’s better to have it with one right from childhood. Thank you 🙂
Roshni said:
I can vouch that my parents have been some of these things and I have and still do many of these!! One thing I hope I do do, that my parents never did, is to apologize to my kid if I’m wrong!
Roshni said:
when, not if!! 😀
shail said:
You hit the nail on just the thing I feel is very important. to accept and apologize when mistakes have been made only strengthens relationships. I too feel that is something I have done different. 🙂
J1289 said:
Agreed!!
Parents are not “saints” though many parents think they are. But if you look more closely, NO ONE IS A SAINT, not even us! I don’t know why, but why can’t parents from conservative cultures acknowledge they are not perfect and cannot make their children perfect? It’s not a bad thing, we’re all human! Live and let live!
shail said:
Agree. It is almost as if the more conservative are afraid to accept their fallibility. They are hard on themselves and also on their children.