Keeping to my promise of posting the rain story if there were ten hands raised (I barely managed to get the required ten, sigh!) in request. This story is perhaps only the second one I wrote ‘made to order,’ on a theme/prompt presented by someone else (I will post the first too, one of these days). It was written (in 2006) as part of a challenge for Brenny‘s ‘Rain Fest’ as I mentioned here The challenge had been to write a three hundred word write up, fiction or non-fiction, prose or poem, with ‘rain’ as the theme. I could not confine my story to three-hundred word limit. So I went a-begging to Brenny for a few more words. He very magnanimously granted me the use of those extra words I needed to complete my story. What you see below had been the end result:
The old woman peered across the dark corridor.
Ah! There he was in his armchair. Waiting for her as usual. A smile spread across her wrinkled face. Momentarily she forgot the rain that lashed outside and the cold that chilled her bones. Thunder rumbled above. Lightning streaked across the skies. She smiled as she remembered how it used to send her running into his arms earlier.
She had arrived here on just such a night. It had been pouring. She was hesitant to get out of the safe cocoon of the car as she heard the thunder roll. Then a warm hand had covered her own and squeezed it as if he understood. She looked into his eyes and her fear seemed to dissolve magically. It had been their wedding day, a rainy wedding day! She crossed the courtyard with him to where the elders waited with the traditional aarti to welcome the newly weds. She had dripped water all over the polished floor as she walked in holding the lit oil lamp.
She dragged her arthritic feet along the corridor. Giving him a toothless smile, she sat at his feet as she had always done. He caressed her hair, like he always did. They sat together. Happy. Silent. Content.
Her son wanted her to move to a modern house. But her memories were here… Her love was here. This is where it had begun. The beautiful love story of hers and this man who now looked at her with rheumy eyes full of love. She settled her head on his lap and sighed contentedly as his knotted hand buried itself in her white hair. She smiled when she remembered he had none anymore.
The next morning they found her with her head on the faded seat of the old armchair. She was cold and lifeless. What was she doing there out of her bed on a cold rainy night, they wondered?!
“Her son is already on the way…”
“He had been informed yesterday of his father’s death…”
“Now to lose his mother too!”
“He was planning to take her with him….”
“Poor soul, she did not want to stay back without her husband!”
The voices went on…
The lightning streaked across the skies.
The thunder rolled.
The merciless rain continued beating down.
A new love story would begin somewhere… once again.
Ruchira said:
wah kya bat hai ! touching and a very well brought out storyline …
shail said:
Thanks Ruch 🙂
Santulan said:
Oh, I don’t remember reading this on 360.
For some reason the old woman reminds me of you.. Not that you’re that old, but in her thought process.
Lovely words though.
shail said:
You joined my friends list after this perhaps? 🙂
Thanks 🙂
dreamingthruthetwilight said:
What a beautifully ideal love story. No wonder you couldn’t bind it within prescribed limits.
shail said:
Thanks Nadira 🙂
nidsonline~nm said:
Its beautiful!!! Bows to you for such a deep story.
shail said:
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thanks 🙂
metherebel said:
Beautiful!!! I loved it!
shail said:
Thank you so much 🙂
Anonymously Disguised said:
The photo reminds me of old malayalam movies where the heroine is wearing a lungi blouse and singing to the hero loitering in the verandah on a rainy night 😛
Beautiful story 😥
shail said:
Lol, I can imagine the Mallu b&w movie scene you outlined! 😛
Thank you.
Indian Homemaker said:
Beautiful.
shail said:
Thanks IHM 🙂
Vivek said:
The story portrays the love of the old woman and her reluctance to go to a new house in a very beautiful way.
shail said:
Thank you Vivek 🙂
perspectivesandprejudices said:
Oh this is so beautiful.
shail said:
Thank you 🙂
Jay said:
That was beautiful!
shail said:
Thanks Jay 🙂
wanderlustathome said:
What a lovely story! The bond between husband and wife in that generation was so subtle yet so strong, reminded me of my grandparents 🙂
shail said:
Many such relationships, yes! Thanks 🙂
ashreyamom said:
touched.. no more words required.. the expressions never die..
shail said:
Thank you very much 🙂
Bikramjit Singh Mann said:
Good job i had both my hands up then 🙂 beautiful story Shail mam
shail said:
Oh yea, I counted both your hands! 🙂 Thank you Biks.
kenthinksaloud said:
Fantastic story! I really, really enjoyed it. So very moving and touching. Very beautiful indeed. This deserved 100 hands up 🙂
shail said:
Oh wow Ken. Now if you had said that I’d have published it without waiting for any more hands! 🙂
Thank you so much. 🙂
kenthinksaloud said:
think nothing of it – it was wonderful and deserved the praise 🙂
shail said:
🙂
haddock54 said:
Love that B&W picture of the rain
shail said:
Thank you 😀
dilipnaidu said:
Very interesting narration. Enjoyed!
Cheers 🙂
shail said:
Thank you Dilip 🙂
bigalittleamom said:
such a beautiful story! So glad you got the extra words to complete it!!
bigalittleamom said:
Loved your post so much, I decided to feature it! Check it out:
http://momofbigalittlea.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-ive-been-reading-this-week-12.html
shail said:
Thank you!! 😀 And thank you for featuring it! 😀
Writerzblock said:
Oooooh I loved that Shail. Just beautiful.
shail said:
Thank you Pal 🙂
Orange Jammies said:
This touched me. Especially the beautiful picture accompanying the story.
shail said:
OJ, thanks, Lovely to see you here 🙂
kayemofnmy said:
Lovely story, Shail.
shail said:
Thank you and welcome to Shail’s Nest. Btw, did you end up reading the wrong story? I posted the link to a different one over at the forum,
Nirvana said:
loved it, loved it, LOVED it!!
shail said:
Thank you so much 🙂 and welcome to Shail’s Nest 🙂
scorpria said:
Gosh! So totally touched.
LOVED it 🙂
And, I’ve NO IDEA why I’ve not been getting any updates from your blog 😦 So much I missed!
shail said:
Maybe you should subscribe again since I moved to WordPress?
Thank you 🙂 And how is Pumbaa? 🙂
asha said:
Wow well portrayed touching story
shail said:
Thank you, Asha 🙂
Dhivya said:
So touching!!!! I can vividly imagine ur narration .
shail said:
Thanks, Dhivya 🙂
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