Now I have heard, rather seen, everything. Hopefully there isn’t much more. Come to think of it, there seems to be no more places to go. So with any luck, this will be the last one has to see on that front. Rather cryptic, huh? Let me elaborate.
In recent times I have been laughing myself silly watching the repeated telecast of an ad where the husband stands transfixed, then walks as if in a trance towards his wife, at the sight of, hold your breath, her fairest of fair underarms. Underarms? I mean, really?! But yeah, fair underarms are the latest it seems in flooring your guy. All you have to do is start using the particular deo-spray with its magical ingredient and voila, fair underarms are yours to flash at whichever man you wish to captivate.
Till recently they (the Fairness-Sellers) had us believe that fair faces alone would do the trick each and every time and get us whatever we wanted. Obviously that did not include the moon (What anyone would do with a moon with no place in the drawing room to proudly display the prized catch is a moot point), but lesser things like hordes of admiring fans, that fatuous moron (though why anyone would want him unless it is to kick him in the seat of his pants is similarly debatable) who gave you the cold shoulder while your complexion had been of a darker shade but who now is only too eager to officiate as the new boy friend , as also the ability to steal any job for which you may be under-qualified right from under the noses of the more deserving. But fair faces as of now are passé.
Or perhaps they mean to tell us that there are men made of a sterner stuff altogether, who are not so easily tempted by the fair face and need somewhat more substantial proof of fair skin to be shaken out of their lethargy. What better way than to dazzle the man out of his indifference with underarm-charms? But tell me once again, because the reason seems to elude me, WHY is tempting & keeping the man THE goal of a woman? While at it also tell me why men are shown as these imbeciles who go into a trance when confronted with fairness, unless of course it is for their dear Momma, who is eagerly waiting for her dear fair DIL to make an appearance and serve her (fairer DILs make better slaves?) and in her spare time (the DIL’s) spawn fair grandkids for her (the MIL) to show off to the world. Anyways…
How long before women are going to raise their eyebrows ever so suggestively at the dark armpits of the men? Like the woman in another of those idiotic ads who sticks her tongue out, metaphorically speaking, at her man because the pale band on his ring finger reveals the fact of his tan. Shame, shame puppy shame. It is made abundantly clear to us that she herself has been faithfully lathering herself with fairness lotions, hell bent on making the Fairness-Sellers laugh all the way to the bank with their sacks full of easy money, and so has a tan free finger, or so the ads have us believe. Perhaps even as I speak, the Fairness Sellers are gearing up to fulfil their sacred duty of providing women with Men of Fair-Underarms. It won’t be long before some stinking rich star, made even more richer by doing the ad, comes singing and dancing on our television sets, advising the men not to use the sister’s or wife’s underarm sprays. Girly stuff. Chee, chee. Buy your own totally macho underarm-whitening deo-spray. Once the campaign is under way, the Fairness Sellers will all promptly go home and tell their families to pack their bags because the stupid public have been duped to donate for their next luxury holiday on the Moon.
One must be fair (not in skin) about these Fairness Sellers and accept that they are resourceful chaps. After targeting face, neck, hands, feet and underarms and successfully making the consumers part with their money, did they simply rest on past laurels? No siree. Like the proverbial eager beavers, they moved on in search of new pastures to lighten and whiten, and what a pasture they found! An as yet unexplored territory, a patch of skin steeped in mysterious darkness. The last of the virgin areas was in danger of being touched (errr… figuratively of course) by the Fairness Sellers and bestowed blinding whiteness upon it that the Indian masses so adore.
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting to you the ‘intimate wash’ that makes your pubic area not just clean and fresh, but FAIR. Ohh la la la. The last of the bastions have fallen to the fairness giants. Watch the model who was so depressed to start with. She sits brooding, for her man wasn’t biting. He wasn’t interested in exploring the mysteries of the darkness she had to offer. Enter Fairness Sellers with useless suitable product to conquer the last of the hidden areas, lighting it all up. Now the man can roam fearless in fairness (read whiteness). In high spirits she prances around, hiding the keys, daring her man to leave her. You bet the guy is not gonna make it to the meeting today. He is totally besotted, under the spell of the white-washed nether regions. Hmm.. I am left wondering how ANY work will get done at this rate in any of the offices..
At last, with all the dark regions having now been cleared of darkness by the Fairness Sellers, unless of course they plan to whiten hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, irises, lips and such too, it looks like they have reached a dead-end. So with any luck, this will be the last one sees on the fairness front for the time being. Wait a minute, what about the dark male regions? You can’t expect women to adjust to that surely! Let’s wait and watch if the Fairness Sellers take enough interest to suggest white-washing for the men and whether it sells. But who am I kidding? The Fairness Sellers will rise again with new and improved versions of their products, with fresh lime, oranges, aloe vera, gobbledygook, thingummybob, whatnots, whatsits and more. The suckers will queue up to stock them with dreams of fairness shining in their feverish eyes. Sigh, it is never going to end.
Let me tell you what happened the other day. I gave my domestic help a few of the lotions and creams (brand new) I had with me thinking she might like to have them. Cosmetics are generally loved by women. Being a lazy woman I stayed as far from lathering and creaming and lotion-ing as I could get. But what does she, a real beauty with a dark skin tone have to tell me in reply?
“Chechi, we use only Fair and Lovely.”
I gathered up the bottles of creams and lotions (none of them were whiteners) and quietly slunk away to my room. Imagine what she must have thought of me. Ignorant dodo of a Chechi, passing off useless stuff on me. The world is running the fairness-race and instead of competing, she (the dodo) has wilfully chosen to fall by the wayside. Anyways, suitably humbled, I returned to my dear blog-world to draw sustenance from reading blogs of like-minded people who spoke against the fairness craze. Ahhh I felt safe, loved and understood.
The Fairness Sellers might think we are ALL fools. Their surmise is right when it comes to the majority of the fairness-deifying junta who would rather be fair than eat well. Don’t even talk about the ill-effects these creams and lotions have on your skin because you won’t have an audience. After all we all believe in fairy tales, in babas who can produce ash from thin air, idols that drip water or drink milk as the case may be. So why am I surprised at the junta that believes dark skin would miraculously turn fair with creams, sprays and such magical stuff? I am thankful that at least some of us can see through the master plan of Fairness Sellers, that of enriching themselves at our cost. I wish people would realise that there is only one fairness cream that works: Photoshop.
(Thank you for sending me this pic Hrishi)
Before I wind up, here is something to ponder upon. Vivek said to me,
“I was sitting at a restaurant with my wife and there was this German kid playing around. I remarked how she looked like a doll…and then I also continued, why wouldn’t she look like a doll to me? All dolls I know are fair-skinned with blue/green eyes. Why don’t they make brown-skinned dolls or yellow ones?”
Updated to add relevant posts:
Fair and Lovely? – Smitha
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is fairest of all? – Deeps
Digitally dark and lovely – Suranga
‘Fair’ is just a four letter word…. – Suranga
Fairness down there – RajK
The unfairness of being fair – Purba Ray
shail said:
Please feel free to add links to blogs you have written on the topic or those that you have read. Much obliged, thank you.
bhagwad said:
I think fairness creams for private parts should make “flashing” a public and legitimate pastime in India:D
shail said:
Lol, I guess that’s fair enough! 😐
Rajani said:
Hi Shail,
I’ve always used to read your comments on IHM’s blog and I’m kicking myself why I didn’t visit your own blog! (I did, a long time ago…but not recently). You are a riot to read!! I backread some of your posts just now and will keep coming back for more.
Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting there. I’ve listened to you and disabled the captcha verification thingie (didn’t even remember I had it enabled until you pointed it out).
You know, of course, that I too have written on the same subject recently, but you put it Oh-so-brilliantly!
Loved it!
RajK
shail said:
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Rajani. I read Suranga and from there went to your page, got the link to the video, watched it and then wrote this. I have laughed at the under-arm ad. But the intimate-wash thing takes the cake. Now we stand totally revealed. No more dark secrets 😛
You should leave the link of your post here, so others can read it too 🙂
Thank you for the appreciation of my posts. Keep visiting 🙂 I believe recently the captcha thing has been enabled by default. Many of the bloggers are not aware. It is such a pain. Thanks for disabling it 🙂
RajK said:
OK, here’s the one I wrote: http://dopaise.blogspot.in/2012/04/fairness-down-there.html
shail said:
Thank you 🙂
Karthik said:
As yucky as it was, my friends and I still had a good time laughing our guts out at that underarm fairness cream ad. And now this post! ROFL!
God save the man whose partner is obsessed with such freaky-yucky stuff!
shail said:
Indeed, if the spouse is thus obsessed, the man better commend himself to a higher power! But I know of deluded husbands who insist the wife apply such creams to have a blemish free and fair face. I was dumbstruck when one such wife came complaining to me; I had all along thought her husband to be an intelligent and sensible man. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by to comment 🙂
vishvanaathjee said:
I suspect that this product was originally intended for “sanitation”, “freshness” and suppressing odour. Some one must have later thought of adding “fairness” and stressing that rather than the other features. After all, the success of Fair and Lovely proves that fairness is more in demand in India than cleanliness.
I haven’t seen this ad on TV yet but watched a youtube clip in another blog. I was acutely embarrassed and if I ever see this ad coming on, my hand will reach out for the remote, to swiftly change channels.
I believe a periodic wash with plain water will take care of “freshness”, and odours, though it may not bring on “fairness”. The product is unnecessary and if it clicks it will prove the adage that fools and their money are soon parted.
Regards
GV
shail said:
I too have the same doubts. Fairness sells in India, much more than cleanliness, so the emphasis on fairness perhaps? Or does it really have harmful chemicals with the intention of lightening skin? It is anyone’s guess.
I haven’t seen the ad on TV yet. I am sure there are takers dumb enough to part with their money on hearing ‘fairness’ mentioned. It is sad that such products give rise to unnatural expectations from all concerned.
Indian Homemaker said:
//WHY is tempting & keeping the man THE goal of a woman?// I think it boils down to this.
shail said:
Indeed. All ads are about attracting men, whether it be powder, soap, spray, whatever. The aim of a woman it seems is catching a man. Sic.
suranga date (@ugich) said:
Shail,
I am so glad you wrote this. This whole fairness stuff is simply getting out of hand. And talking of Photoshop, have a look at what I wrote approx 4 years ago when someone was actually learning photoshop :-))
http://kaimhanta.blogspot.in/2008/10/digitally-dark-and-lovely.html
shail said:
Thanks for the link Suranga. Great read and I have added it 🙂
Deboshree said:
Awesome post, Shail!
I cannot tell you what fits I went into after I saw that Intimate Wash ad for the first time. Fair faces, fair hands, fair legs, even fair underarms will do – but fair private parts?! How did they hit upon such a USP, I have no idea. How weird would it be if someone, say dark skinned, decides to use the magic product. She ends up being all of an albino down below and the rest of her complexion is her usual, natural one. Wouldn’t the man be freaked out? Or is this product to be teamed up with the routine fairness creams?
Whatever it is, I am totally disillusioned. Looks like the end of the world is near.
shail said:
Thank you Deboshree. That ad is the limit. People are going to look at themselves and think they are freaks for looking naturally dark. And I can just imagine hubby dear suggesting to wifey, “Why not use that intimate-wash-thingummy’ with dreams in his head of sparkling white privates. I know husbands who urge their spouses to use no-mark and fairness creams much to their (spouse’) discomfort. Egad I shudder to think of fair in pubic area with rest of the body usual dark tone scenario.
I am disappointed too thinking how there will be a mad scramble on the part of women for this, in their eyes, miraculous product. 😦
Sanjay said:
It was a good read.The entire writeup and the links were really very informative.
shail said:
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Sanjay and thank you 🙂
Sumana said:
the topic..though serious…i fell about laughing. we have morons in the order of millions…and so the products sell. i’ve personally known parents who searched for ‘fair’ brides for their dark-toned sons…reason being ‘grand kids atleast with have ‘good colour’.
shail said:
Million morons is right and the sellers are wallowing in wealth at the stupdity of the masses. Ahh the search for the fair bride in anticipation of fair grandkids! Lol, reminds me of my Uncle who was dark and Aunt the fair one. Three children who got their color from their father later Aunt was frantic with worry. Her wish was fulfilled when she had a fair fourth one. 😐
Sangitha said:
‘Why is tempting and keeping the man the goal of a woman?’
Simple. The ad world is pretty nicely dominated by men and this is their ‘private’ fantasy (some of theirs, to be ‘fair’!) The justification is that the market wants it, the market buys anything that ostensibly improves them (after sowing thoughts of inadequacy in them) or makes them feel improved and the cycle goes on!
Disgusted with this product and curious as to where else the sellers will now go. You can be sure that the woman who says her man is not fair enough there will be raised up as a western woman with no morals, not able to ‘adjust’!
shail said:
This ‘private fantasy’ is what comes to mind when I see some movies and the way women and situations are portrayed too. Right on about the inadequacy-sowing and trying to solve it through such stupid ways. 😦
You are right, women will have to ‘adjust’ with a dark-skinned man or be branded as evil.
R's Mom said:
I just did a post on this product…its getting more and more irritating by the day honestly!!! I am fed up with fairness and comments on how dark R is…one day I think I am just going to shout back at people saying R is R..if she is not fair, its not her mistake 😦
shail said:
Link to your post please. People tell you that R is dark? Pummel them to pulp with my blessings. The gall!
R's Mom said:
thats the link
Arey Shail-ji…the people include close relatives..sometimes honestly its heart breaking..most times I dont care, shrug it off…etc etc..but when I am PMSing or something and the hormones are haywire, I get so bugged that I speak back rudely and then its a family thing 😦 dont ask!
Rupertt Wind said:
Indeed Photoshop is a good product , it can make an ass look like a super model within minutes. It should be the only product that can turn an ugly duckling into a princess overnight
shail said:
If only it was more widely known 😉
Rupertt Wind said:
:), But unfortunately Adobe is yet to come up with a product that could change the person! If only they could, they would rule the cosmetic world single handedly if that could work half as much as Photoshop!
shail said:
🙂
TitoV said:
Ente daivamme.. Inni enthokke kaananam… You are either very very bored and jobless or with that finger back to normal just dying to type something.
I stand by photoshop too, though sometimes I fail to recognise myself after expert friends do the touchups. It WORKS !!! 😛
😀 😀 😀 Where is Luci ?
shail said:
“You are either very very bored and jobless”
That shows you are still new around here 😉 Ask any of the old timers and they will tell you tales of horror of how I take off and write on just about anything with the sole aim of sending the readers into shock, and if possible boring them to death 😉 😛
Tell me about photoshop! I went to have my picture taken for my visa a couple of years back. They showed it to me on the comp and I found it to be a good resemblance. But when I went to the studio to collect the copies I was in for a shock. “Who is this?” I asked the L & M, They had photoshopped me to look at least 15 years younger. 😐
Luci says ‘Hi’. 🙂
BTW what gives you the impression something is wrong with my fingers?
TitoV said:
LOL, I said your fingers are back in good condition. And i meant that Beach of a finger that was keeping you from writing.
Guess I will have to get used to the rants. And I didnt find it boring, just found it funny that these ads are serving their purpose so well. Any kind of publicity is good publicity 😀
shail said:
OMG, your last sentence reminded me I left out something I wanted to mention. And I don’t think this ‘any kind of publicity is good publicity holds true in the modern world, may be it was in the past. That is another of those delusions the ad world labors under and because they have said it enough number of times, it has become some sort of gospel. Errrr…I don’t know if you work in the ad world. Do you? 😐
Beach finger hindered for a couple of days, but the single- finger-typer that I am, it has ceased to bother me. More serious is the tennis elbow which I am disregarding for the time being.
bombay pirate (@bombaypirate) said:
I think they have taken this “all is ‘fair’ in love and war” a bit too far… 😛
shail said:
Lol, looks that way indeed! 🙂
Deeps said:
Goodness this is getting insane! A fairness cream for your pubic area! When will we stop obsessing about fairness??
Had done a post long back on this topic- http://deepsspeakingup.wordpress.com/2010/02/06/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall-who-in-the-land-is-fairest-of-all/
However the product you’ve mentioned about takes the cake, Shail..this is unbelievable!
shail said:
Insane and dangerous. imagine chemicals wreaking havoc on sensitive skin. Thanks for the link Deeps. I have added your post above.
pixie said:
heh!! I see the same ad here too and I keep thinking – WTF?!
How is having fair underarms going to help “keep” a man?! jeez!!
I loved this post!
shail said:
Looks like he got bored of all the other pertinent body parts 😛 Really, its too dumb for words. But the population is dumber. 😦
pixie said:
Now, there’s even a fairness cream for “other” body parts as well apparently!!
How low can we sink?!
shail said:
Really low, pun intended 😉
Amit said:
There was an article in Times of India yesterday where the doctors were discussing a rise in the number of operations they do for fairer underarms. They paralyse the sweat glands. They said that the ratio of men and women who come to them is 60:40. It seems more and more men are going for this. They takes around 50,000 for a sitting and it goes on for multiple sittings.
I could never understand the affinity of brown skinned societies towards fairness. A friend of mine went to Mexico recently and was surprised to see fairness adverts similar to the ones they show in India. And in white societies, they are obsessed with tanning!
It seems we always run after what we don’t have.
shail said:
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Amit. Can you give the link to that article about operations for fair underarms? It seems such a bizarre thing to do! Just recently someone was arguing with me over this very post of mine. Its just a matter of a person’s personal preference ‘to look good’ it seems. But the person let himself open to the question, “So looking good is synonymous with being fair?”
Amit said:
Hi Shail. Here is the link – http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-04-15/beauty/31344736_1_botox-botulinum-katie-holmes
Yes, it is ok as a personal preference, but the adverts are actually brainwashing people into believing that they are not good enough without their products. That is the problem I guess. And thus in darker societies people are lead to believe that looking good = fair.
shail said:
Thanks for the link. 🙂
The ads not only ‘brainwash’ they also don’t tell us all of the truth.
BlueHornbill said:
Imagine if a dark sinned person using all three products, for face, under arms and pubic area, how unnatural it would look! when will people learn to accept the way they are!
I am getting sick and tired of the barrage of fairness adds. And it has become so much difficult to select a simple moisturizer. Previously it was just picking up something written moisturizer, now I have to go through the ingredients list, so many fairness creams to be weeded out…:(
shail said:
We look beautiful when we accept ourselves the way we are. No amount of fairness will give you the confidence to walk the ramp, sing or do well in an interview. When will people understand that? They even have an ad showing a girl who is a good singer, but who gets the confidence to sing on stage only when she has transformed her beautiful self into ghost-like fairness. Not that I have seen ghosts of course 😛
Yes, its a headache to choose a simple cream/lotion. Fairness is being shoved down our throats against our wills. 😦
Smitha said:
I did not get a chance to comment on this post yesterday, Shail. I could go on and on about it.
A couple of years back, in India, I went to a shop looking for a face wash- and found that most of the face washes were the’fairness’ ones 😦 Who in their right minds would believe all this? But clearly people do – people who are ready to do anything for fairer skin.
Once, in a parlour in India, I had gone for a facial. I wanted something with lots of massaging, only to be told by the beautician, that what I need is some fairness facial because I am too dark. I told her firmly that I certainly don’t want a ‘fairness facial’, so she tried to convince me to, at least, get a bleach done! My darkness seemed to worry her so much! So much so that she advised me to not go out in the sun, because that is what is making me dark!
I know people who don’t encourage their little girls to play in the sun – because it might get make them dark:(
And now with a fairness cream for the vagina, what more can you ask for! Yes, that must be the secret to ‘keeping a man’! After all that is all what matters, isn’t it 😦
shail said:
My friend who is a beautician tries to convince me often that I should ‘bleach; my face and do away with the tan. The funny part is my doc wants me to do ‘sun-walking’ for a few minutes everyday so as I absorb more Vitamin D! 😛
Looking at these ads one gets the idea that if you are fair, everything is yours for the asking. Really? I mean REALLY?! But so many morons believe that. That’s why it sells. 😦
Bikramjit Singh Mann said:
Hmmm well what can i say on this.. It is selling out their like hot cakes .. SO what can i say..
Reading smitha’s above comment reminded me in bangalore in november i went for a hair cut and the guy was selling me the idea of getting a bleach done . I dont understand it at all
I say it a lot what people do inside their locked doors is funny , otherwise why will this cream be selling ..
shail said:
Yes, that’s the sad part, that people believe such sales spiel. I agree with you that though many pretend they aren’t bothered about their own fairness or lack of it, in truth, they are.
purbaray said:
I want to know what the Gurgaon police thinks of the “whitening-intimate wash”. Imagine walking in the dark with glowing privates!
shail said:
Ahh I’d like to see their faces when that happens! 🙂
Reema said:
very sad state of affairs 😦
shail said:
Yeah it is.
Govind said:
Shail, let us be fair
it might be your space here
doesn’t mean whatever you feel you can air
for the guy who wants a fair ahem, a thought do spare
so bundle up all your glare
and simply grin and bear.
I didn’t know I was missing so much by not watching TV. 🙂
shail said:
Lol Govind, you got it wrong. I want the men to have their share of fairness bestowed on them. I am actually waiting for the ad to be aired. Why should I forgo an opportunity to have a good laugh? (maybe write a blog too?!) 😛
RajK said:
Hey Shail, look what I found. http://himalmag.com/component/content/article/1-web-exclusive/5047-why-fuss-fuss-about-mack-up-creams.html
shail said:
Loved it! Thanks for sharing this find. I have re-blogged the link 🙂
Lindy Lee said:
PhotoShop makes a good liar out of this follower, shailsnest; clever humor…
shail said:
Thank you for the visit and the comment Lindy 🙂
Bhagi said:
Shail, that was one hilarious blog. With each passing day the models of the fairness ads are getting whiter and whiter. When it could no longer get any whiter, the white started turning pink. Now everyone of them sports an albino -like-look. Wonder if people would really want to look like that!
shail said:
Thank you Bhagi. That look is probably good for TV commercials/magazines only. But will the fact sink into skulls? Seems quite unlikely by the way sales of these creams and lotions are shooting up.
Lindy Lee said:
PhotoShop makes a good liar out of this follower…
shail said:
It does? 🙂
rk said:
“Or perhaps they mean to tell us that there are men made of a sterner stuff altogether, who are not so easily tempted by the fair face and need somewhat more substantial proof of fair skin to be shaken out of their lethargy.” ROFLMAO. I am at work and now everyone is staring at me!