Crows getting the initial share of the feast prepared on the first death anniversary (of the L & M’s mother).
In the old days, these crows with the grey band around their necks were chased away from such offering. Only the fully black ones were allowed to partake of the feast. It was believed that the dead returned as the latter to accept the lovingly prepared food. The crows with gray band were referred to as kalla-kaakka (liar crows) which made us children ask the (inevitable) question if the fully-black ones were ‘satya-kakka‘ (truthful crows)?!
Times have changed. There are fewer crows and it would not do for anyone to fuss and insist that only one type of crow is welcome. May be that’s why the kalla-kakkas of before are welcomed by most, accepted as the form the dear departed souls have assumed to return and accept their offerings. Or maybe it is the departed souls who have made the compromise. Anyways, nowadays you find both types of crows are welcome to peck at the food lovingly prepared in honor of the dead souls.
But today we had another unexpected visitor apart from the expected crows: a hungry old woman.
Shail's Nest 
Good omen! It is believed that if a hungry lady partakes the prasad for a departed woman, the prasad goes straight to the deceased lady. Peace …
When a hungry old woman made an appearance out of the blue on the day, it did seem a coincidence. 🙂
Looks like discrimination against grey banded crows is on the decline – progressive times indeed 😀
I can imagine a hungry person taking exception to their photograph being clicked. Did she mind?
Lol, yes the discrimination between crows seems to have disappeared altogether now:D
When the lady saw me, she was about to get up, trying at the same time to give a half-namaste with her free hand! I insisted that she continue eating her lunch. She was happy to be photographed. She reminded me of this lady. 🙂 But she of course wanted to be photographed 🙂
The pic tells me that we should feed not only the birds but hungry people…too……. !!!!!!
Yes of course 🙂
Anyone who can partake of the meal one prepares, is representative of the soul that left us, is what I would like to take away from here. 🙂
I think all the elaborate rituals, inviting lots of relatives and friends, preparing a feast, all in the name of the departed as real waste of money. I’d rather it was used in feeding the hungry in some old age home or orphanage or even to set someone up in life. But then those are my personal views 🙂
But of course, Shail 🙂 I do understand. In fact what I meant here, is that whatever manner of crow, or a hungry soul is enough… 🙂 Not necessarily all those numbers we invite and spend upon. That would be better spent of those in need or setting up something for the benefit of those who are underprivileged. 🙂
🙂 Yeah I know Usha.
I had once asked that if the since the soul of the said person has passed on to the after life and enjoying all that is good in heaven, why would they want to come back? Or what if they’re re-incarnated? It didn’t go well with the people Uncle an aunt.
Anyway, feeding the hungry is a good thing..
It doesn’t go well with a lot of people. 😛 I remember hearing just such a discussion. In whatever discussion, the believers get all hot under the collar and offended. They will criticize your lack of knowledge, your lack of respect for tradition and culture yada yada yada. But none of them will give a clear answer to your questions. 🙂 The best part is the family living across you will swear by a ritual which has to be done just this way while the adjacent one will fight tooth and nail for another. Then there are others who will conveniently bend all rules and do it their own way and tell us that ‘of course it can be done this way too’. But, if at all you try to bend rules your way, these same people will go all cross-eyed at what they perceive is your impudence. Hmmm… may be I should blog about my experience/thoughts 😛
Personally I don’t believe in all this and think that these are rituals for those left behind to find closure (not those departed). I’d rather my body be donated to science. Let me not even talk about the racket (rituals for the departed done by a set of clueless people for another equally if not more clueless set of people) that is a booming business these days.
Loved this post Shail. My mother sends food every year to the slums from where our household help of 30 years comes.
I know that some of these customs don’t help is the bereaved, the mother who I am in touch with, who lost her 24 year old daughter last Feb found feeding of food to crows extremely upsetting. If the purpose is to help the loved ones, only what they find comforting and the way they find it comforting should be followed, anything else is just not necessary.
That is such a lovely gesture on your mother’s part IHM. And I agree, what makes the loved ones feel comfortable is all that’s needed to be done. I remember the time when my brother-in-law passed away. My son was only two. He was snatched off my hand by a relative to do the last rites. He screamed and screamed, terrified. We had just come down from the North after two days journey and my son was not even familiar with all members of the household and here was this distant relative who just took him away without a word to me. He carried him around and did all the necessary rites on my son’s behalf. I watched livid… but helpless, being still the new entrant. Moreover it was a house of mourning.
What I could not understand was why should a child of two be made to do rites which he does not understand? Is it necessary to make him do it in this forced manner, with him screaming his head off? What purpose does that achieve other than to say, “Yes, even the 2 year old nephew was made to do the last rites” (only symbolically!) Never mind if actually the child was crying in bewilderment. I hate such stupid rituals
What annoyed me most was the way he was snatched from me, as if my permission was not needed for taking my son away from me. That just shows the patriarchal mentality. The second, I could easily have done the same on behalf of my son without upsetting him.
To this day I question such meaningless actions where babies are forced to do rites. Aren’t rites and rituals supposed to be for those who understand its significance?
OMG, this is a blog post of a comment!
When my grandmother passed away we decided not to give a feast to all the relatives on her shradh. Instead we decided to give food to people who really need it … especially since my grandma had spent her life looking after the needy.
Also my aunt was allowed to go to Haridwar to immerse the ashes along with my father ,, so yes times are changing !
But I agree .. these rituals are more for the benefit of the living rather than the dead !
I am so glad when I hear of such changes. The rituals for the dead is a booming business everywhere. No one knows what or why they are doing, but they do it all the same to be on the safe side. And THAT I find meaningless.
Oh yaa…you know my Patty and my MIL still put rice and ghee and some paruppu outside the house everyday for the crow to come and eat…
I didnt know about the kalla kakka… 🙂
My mom and dad now a days just give food to a nearby temple which feeds the hungry every Thursday..and they have told bro and me that when we die, dont do shraadh and all ..if you really want to do something, just give food to the needy…(Initially I was very upset when they spoke such stuff, but I guess they are just being practical in life!)
My MiL always fed the crows before having lunch. My grandfather also used to do the same.
When I go to shraadh ceremonies and see the useless pomp and show and inane chatter, I am yet again convinced that it is a useless exercise. Doing something for the needy is a much better option.
I did this ritual when my ammamma passed away. I was in muscat and there was no way that I could be in Delhi just in time to do the ritual with family. So upon the advice of my Amma, I made molagooshyam, ammamma\s favorite and decided to feed it to crows. Since it was an extremely hot month of july in the ME, I was doubtful if any crow would hear my clap. Luckily one crow did :). Felt very nice 🙂
Thank you for this post, Shail :). Loved it. Didnt know the relevence of fully-black kaakkas and kalla-kaakkas :).
May God be with the departed souls.
Nowadays I don’t see anyone talking about the kalla kaakka (also called kadal kaakka, it is seen near the sea) and the fully black ones. It is only one ‘kaakka’ for all.
Glad to hear one crow came to partake of the molagooshyam 🙂
hmm interesting info .. I did not know this at all about the fully black or the grey necked crows ..
God bless and rest in peace the departed souls ..
Thanks Biks 🙂
We call the complete black crows as ‘andangaakka’. I feel they are villain kaakkaas, since they don’t allow the grey ones to eat food. I place curd rice everyday to kaakkaas, first because my mother was doing this, but now, I enjoy watching them eat. I did a post on this.
I too agree with you, instead of inviting all and sundry to eat in our house, we can feed the poor in some orphanage.
The old lady looks so happy, Shail! Your mother in law must be happy seeing this happy face.
Yeah those crows are a bit bossy! I have noticed too.
There are people we can help in many ways instead. So many children who need books/uniform or other necessary items.
Can you give me the link to your crow post?
awesome post. and i agree with what u said about feeding the hungry than waste money on relatives
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Vethal. I wonder why we are so focused on feeding those who already have enough?