- a story
“Do you love me??” she asked.
Her eyes sparkled in anticipation of his answer. She knew what he would say and yet it was something she asked of him often. He never did understand the reason why. Where he came from love was abundant and was understood without words. Her question seemed redundant to him in a relationship where love undeniably existed. Why did the question have to pop up so often, he mused, especially when he told her every so often that he loved her. Yet he humored her with an answer each time,
“Yes I do”
The smile of happiness on her face was reward enough for him. He loved her dearly.
Today somehow the question rattled him. He lashed out at her in irritation. Why the hell do you have to ask?? Don’t you know I love you?? He gave vent to his ire and frustration of the day that had not gone too well for him. How many times do I have to tell you?? Are you questioning my love for you?? You doubt me and my love for you.
The smile of expectation froze on her face and died. She stared at him, dumbfounded by the unexpected onslaught. His tone made her cringe. Where she came from love was neither abundant nor a familiar word. How could she tell him of the yearning to just hear his assurance?? How could she let him know how it filled a bottomless void in her and soothed a nameless dread?? How could she tell him of the joy that frothed and bubbled and made her want to dance when she heard him?? She stood silent, her eyes filled with hurt.
It pierced him, the stricken look on her face. But it was too late to recall what he had said. Ignoring her he walked away and immersed himself in his work. The hurt in her eyes felt like a hook in his heart, pulling him back towards her. He suppressed the urge to get up and go to her. He forced himself to concentrate on the work.
Late into the night, he put away his papers. The harsh words he had spoken and her hurt eyes came floating back to his mind. Outside it was raining. Lightning streaks adorned the sky. The clap of thunder was getting closer. He looked at the time. It was way past midnight and yet he knew she would still be awake.
He got up, stretched and walked to the bedroom. Peeping in he found she wasn’t there. Not in the balcony either where she loved to sit when he worked late. In fact she was nowhere in the house. He felt panic rise and spread making his limbs go weak. He loved her so very much. Had his words angered her enough to walk out on him?? Where was she?? Where could she have gone in this rain??
He found her with the help of his neighbors. She was cold and wet. Her dress was all muddy. Unmindful he hugged her to himself as if afraid to let her go.
“Is this anyway to behave??” he asked her in mock anger as lovers do. “Walking out on me like that!”
Then more tenderly he said,
“Ask me darling… I will answer you not once but a thousand times…”
But she was silent. She wouldn’t ask him what she so often did. There was no sparkle in her eyes. She did not look at him nor did she smile.
“Are you angry with me?? Ask me now…” he said in entreaty. “I will answer you.”
And when she still didn’t he hugged her tighter and said,
“Ok then, if you won’t, I will ask you… Do you love me??”
When no answer was forthcoming, he took her face in his hands and said brokenly,
“I do darling, I do, I do…I do love you…”
They had to forcefully pry her off his hands to take her to the waiting ambulance. She would never ask him her question ever again. She did not need his answer too. Though he knew, he kept repeating like a mad man,
“I do darling, I do…“
wow Aunty, good one. Liked the twist in the end, and the unspoken misunderstandings, showing how different people have different approaches to understanding love.
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Tanya. That was quite quick response!
‘..different people… different approaches to understanding love”
Yes I agree absolutely. Keep coming back
Once too often we fall into this danger
of not being able to control our anger
If only we realize the consequences of pulling the trigger
we will be able to control our temper a little more longer.
Good one Shail. You managed to keep the suspense til the last.
Thank you Govind. I was hoping the suspense would hold. I am gratified by Tanya’s response and yours too regarding it.
beautiful shail! Loved it!
Thank you Preeti.
Good to see you.
Oh! this is so poignant…I wonder how many of us recognize that we are at some points in our lives, that woman or that man.
Right as you always are Rashmi.
Good one aunty. Reading your blogs after a long time and that was a good read!
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Janu… and thank you!
Very telling story about contrasting ways of handling the same emotion. I must say I did not like the ending…
Thank you Vivek. Hmm… so you did not like the ending?? I did receive some flak over it. So tell me what is your reason for not liking it
The fact that I am an eternal romantic and don’t like it when people take negative decisions.
Hmm… does that mean you think people who take negative decisions are not romantics at heart??
Hmmm I dont know…I would myself find quite irritating to answer this question every now and then..sort of bordering on nagging!
To nag, Answers.com tells me, means “to scold, complain, or find fault constantly”
I agree with Reema – I too would find it irritating if I were asked this question often…Words don’t really mean anything, actions do…
Words don’t mean anything?? Hmmm… I disagree. If words don’t really mean anything, languages would never have happened. Humans as a species would have remained a silent lot. I believe words have a place in this world just as everything else. I concede that it may not mean much to SOME rather than others. Its a matter of choice and preference.
They differ in their need for words too. That’s all. To each one his/her own.
As Tanya and Vivek say in their comments above, people differ in their approaches and handling of emotions.
Wow!! Gave me goose bumps! Beautifully written!!
Like Sraboney and Reema – I am sure I might find the question annoying if asked all the time… not sure, never happened. I fear such questions do mean there is some reason to feel the need to hear it so often. Maybe his words did not match with his actions?
Thank you IHM.
Hmm… there srely must have been a reason why she asked the question. Rather than his words not matching his actions (why is that the first assumption most seem to make??
) the reason perhaps the answer lies in her own nature?? May be she just needs more assurance?? It stands to reason that if there exist people who don’t need assurance, then there exist others who do need lots of assurance as well. A lot depends on who meets who and also how they manage.
Besides there is an allusion in the story to ‘where they came from’ which may be the reason for the difference between them.
touching.. can relate to every word..
Thank you Santosh. Haven’t seen you in quite a while and I forgot to wish you on your b’day. Though belatedly, ‘Wish you a very happy birthday!!’
July 5th wasn’t it?? Or am I wrong??
Thanks Shail jee.. Yes, it is july 5th. Was fighting with many things.. now I am back.
Good to know that you are back. I remembered July 5th coz it is L & M’s birthday too
Beautiful story. How very true.. Some people need reassurance more often and this often is the case with old people. And we get irritated at that and lose patience over them to let everything go in vain. An awesome rendition…
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Anusha and thank you. I agree, some people do need more assurance than others. It can be intrinsic to their nature or something acquired from harsh/traumatic experiences in life. And then there are others who get irritated. Just two different types of people.
Haunting! It really lingers in the mind.
Thank you Ritu
Some people do need to be reassured more than others, even to the point that it becomes annoying. In our life, we do tend to lose our temper and snap at our loved ones at some point or the other, believing that there will be a chance to make up. Sometimes as in this case, that never happens. Beautifully told, poignant story.
….And a comment that’s beautifully and succinctly put! Thank you Dreamer. I don’t think I could have said it any better
Beautifully drawn out. The emotion and the slight, but profound understated drama. Brought goosebumps, it did. And you kept us guessing til the last. Fantastic.
Sometimes, I feel, it’s like that. It’s not rational, but there all the same. The need to know, even if you know. That came out so well!
It is never rational. Is it Usha?? How many of the actions of humans are when you think of it?? I am surprised at how people accept getting irritated and reacting strongly as rational behavior but needing assurance as not. As far as I am concerned both fall in the same category of ir-rational behavior.
The need to know, what do they know of it, they who do not want to know or they who think they know!!
Thank you Usha
He has broken her trust in him…she will need reassurance more often now…sad…very well written…how about a follow up?
Hmm….. where she has gone, she will need no more assurances from him. So there can be no follow ups from me either
Very beautifully written, Shail !!! My God, did she take her own life becos he didnt answer her question, the nth time !!!! Some ppl are so sensitive !!!
But the story had been written very nicely, liked the way it went.
Did you feel she did so because he did not answer her??
Thanks Uma for the appreciation.
Gripping narration Shail! But I felt sad at the end.. for both of them
Thank you Priya. Yes, it is a sad ending for both of them.
I wasn’t exoecting the sad end!!
Like I said before, its “Goosebumping Good”!!
Maha-twist, though very , very sad too
Thank you Noorulayn
Yeah its always sad when two people cannot ‘reach’ each other. 
Oh! only last week I asked a friend “Do you love your wife?”
He thought for a minute or two and said “What the heck, I have been married for ten years. You should have asked this in the first year of marriage I would have had a ready answer now it is not that simple.”
@UmaS,
People often don’t act out of one instance of rejection. There are already other things going on that lead them to such a drastic measure. Author did mention about the lead character’s emotionally deprived childhood that often lead to esteem issues and there is depression and fixation disorders.
@Shail, I do not know how I could guess the ending. It didn’t come as surprise to me. Sad though… but good use of words and suspence…
Peace,
Desi Girl
Welcome Desi Girl to Shail’s Nest.
I didn’t think the end would be a surprise either though I tried to make it so. If I were the one reading, it wouldn’t have been to me. But I guess only some can ‘see’ the end coming.
I am glad you noticed the finer details which seems to have escaped some of the readers.
Thank you for dropping by.