They…

I invite them my cheeks to smudge

They hide behind my eyes refusing to budge

Retreating to my throat they choke me

Settling their weight in my heart they mock me.

-Shail Mohan (Dec 2008)


Reposted from shail-mohan blogs @sulekha.com

17 thoughts on “They…

  1. I always have this doubt
    Why tears are mostly what you write about?
    Is it because it’s the best feeling we all emote?
    Anyways your verses always get my vote.

    Me: Now you comment poetically eh PRG??

    Thank you for the vote
    The feeling I best emote
    Is a smile without a doubt
    Yet tears it is I write about.
    :)

  2. Reminded me of the song ‘Tum itna kyon muskura rahe ho…..?’
    Beautiful little poem from you, Shail. Only hoping this is pure fiction and nothing else.
    Regards,
    Pal

    Me: That IS a beautiful song, isn’t it Pallavi??

  3. Poignant and beautiful. Someone should add more synonyms for “beautiful” with the exact same connotation so that a gal needn’t repeat it again and again!!

    A suggestion from the insufferable pedant in me – a preposition “to” between “invite them” and “my cheeks” so that it is grammatically correct. Actually, it looks like a typo from you. Or you can use other words like “surrender them,” “give them,” “furnish them,” “supply them,” (okay, time to stop the boring rant) etc.

    Me: Roopa, now now don’t get carried away! :P Thanks awfully!! Actually, the line is ‘I invite them to smudge my cheeks’ re-arranged. Poetic license?? :P ‘I invite them ‘to’ my cheeks to smudge’ doesn’t convey the same feeling somehow. Hmm… but ‘surrender them’ sounds good. ‘I surrender them my cheeks to smudge’ has a better feel to it. Thanks Roopa. I really appreciate your comment. As you know (did you??) I am only an Economics student! :P ;)

  4. Hey, nicely written. Liked it. I liked the allusion you made instead of wording out the word, ‘tears’. A word too tender to be worded, innit?

    PS Do you use facebook? If no, then must you not?

    Me: Thank you Rhett. Sometimes you can get the result without the use of the word itself. Right??
    I am on FB. :)

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