- a story of heartbreak.
I have lost the last chance I took.
They have taken over.
I am powerless.
They tell me what I should do.
I have to obey.
They tell me I have to seal my heart shut.
How can I??
I told them it was impossible.
They tell me I am a fool.
Perhaps I am.
They tell me I must not get in deeper.
I want to wade in deeper much deeper.
They tell me I will drown.
I know I will.
I tell them that is what I want.
They tell me I will lose.
I laugh at them.
I tell them I am happy.
They ask me, ‘Then, why are you crying??’
I touch my cheeks.
I look at my hands in wonder.
My hands are wet.
They ask, ‘Are they tears of Happiness??’
I shake my head in the negative.
They ask, ‘Are they tears of Anger??’
I stare at them silently.
The answer is still ‘No’
They ask, ‘Are they…’
I don’t want to hear any more. I turn away.
I know they will ultimately reach the right question.
I cannot answer them.
They know I cannot answer them.
I feel the frost of fear cover me in its chilling mantle.
They are right.
I should listen to them.
They are only trying to protect me.
They are trying to help the fool that I am.
Only they can save me.
I have to do what they say.
They know I cannot go back.
I look at them mutely.
They tell me what I should do to save myself.
‘Lock up now or else you will be hurt.’
They are always right.
They know me only too well.
Yet it is so hard and I don’t want to obey.
I rebel.
Then…
They call in Pride.
They tie my hands with the strong silken ropes of Pride for my own good.
I want to free myself. I try hard.
I must grow up, be a big girl.
But they know the sad truth.
They know I love the smooth feel of the silken ropes of Pride.
They know I love the cocoon of its safety.
They know the fetters of Pride will keep me silent.
They know I will never grow up and be a big girl if I live to be a hundred.
They know this is the only way.
They know something you don’t, my love.
They know this heart and its secret longings.
Unlike you, they also know the reason why.
Show-cased post from shail-mohan blogs @sulekha.com
assume no one wants to grow up !
There are some who are old before their age Dhiren, but some are young at heart forever.
Gut-wrenching, the end. More so, for the matter of fact tone, and the structuring. Life as it is. Love for the way it is.
Touched. Moved.
Thank you Usha. I am moved by your words!
Wow, Shail! This gets increasingly intense until it grips us completely at the end.
What a dramatic change from your ‘pet’ posts!
Thank you, Manju. I cherish that ‘What a dramatic change from your ‘pet’ posts!’ For some (strange??) reason I hate being typecast. So these words are music to my ears.
Beautiful, touching…
Thanks Ganga!
When you poetry, i don’t know what to say
The blue disappears — the sky is all gray
The words go oh so deep
From such heights they leap
Then come neatly displayed upon your tray!
Lol Gulshan, you have it in a nutshell, don’t you?? I am going to surprise you one of these days and come up with a really humorous poem. In fact I have posted one at sulekha as part of a tag.
For want of a better word, it is “deep” Shail. I am still mulling over these lines. Inner voices – it is not conscience. Is it rationality? You can’t really define what they are, but they are certainly there, always holding you back, and perhaps making you a saner person.
Roopa, thank you. You are right, you cannot really define them.
Fascinating, poignant and scary! More so, because it is written in normal every day language. Great job.
Thanks Ritu. Conveying something in ordinary language is a challenge. Besides as an Economics student, that is all I know!
Today is my day for first loving your angry but funny rhymes on my blog and then reach here to thank you and find this beautiful, strong post. Brilliant!
The rhyming session over at your place was really something IHM! Thanks for your words of appreciation for this one!
Simple, yet elegant.. And undeniably poignant.
Welcome eMJay and thank you!
You have been tagged!!!
OMG Usha, don’t tell me I have been tagged AGAIN! I am going to be buried under them. So many undone ones!!
Beautifully written. Once again it has taken me to my old classic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AKg6NUD3ag Carpenter’s Goodbye to love.
Beautifully written. Once again it has taken me back to my old classics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AKg6NUD3ag Carpenter’s Goodbye to love.
Beautifully written.Once again it has taken me bach to my old classsics.This time it is Carpenter’s Goodbye to Love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AKg6NUD3ag. Seriously you should think of publishing your works.
Listened to the song PRG! Hmmm… about publishing, I am still thinking about that one!
oops!!!! The first two times my comments didn’t get loaded. Suddenly all three have appeared.
Hmmm… Internet Comment Gluttons found your comments too tough to crack that they just let them go I guess, PRG!
Shail.this was indeed a hearttouching poem.Loved it..Keep writing..
Good day
Well, Nimmy thank you. But why do you call it a poem, I intended it to be prose. Hmm….
ah I see I have missed a lot. This speaks for me too…there are times when I wish I never Grew up and I really Hate them. I havent yet told them though.
Rashmi, they speak to you too?! And yo, I missed your presence too.
Hi Shail,
Wow, that was poignant, deep, heart-wrenching, beautiful.
You are the best poet living on earth! (I guess it is fair to assume that none of the astronauts floating around have a poetic streak)
[Only for Shail's eyes - there you go, I can say only so much for Rs.1,000]
Cheers,
Sal, et tu?! I mean you think its a poem too?? :O But thanks for that ‘best poet’ bit. And shhhhh…. not a word about the Rs.1000. Pssst! I’ll hike the price. A few more adjectives the next time. Ok??!
‘Lock up now or else you will be hurt.’
I recall to see who told me that??!!?? hmmm still thinking… But yo… one thing I am sure… Someone really told me that… someday… somewhere!!!
Love you! Hugs!!!