Calling brave souls

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Good news!

Of course it is all relative and depends entirely on whether you are you or I. Hmm….. Now THAT was a foolish thing to say and is an impossibility to boot. You are you and I of course am I. There is no ‘whether’ about it. So getting back to what I was saying, the good news (which certainly is NOT what the Indian movies have us believe is THE good news. Sheesh, the very idea!) is that my book of verse, Love, Loss & Acceptance is now available via certain online stores. You gotta admit that is good news for me and the few gullible brave souls who love reading poetry. In the meantime I feel someone also please tell Indian filmmakers (and the society at large) that ‘good news’ means plenty more than what their one-track mind tells them it is. Anyways….

You lovely brave souls out there who wanna take the plunge, and also those who I am trying to convince to jump off the deep end sort of, can now go to the following places to place their orders:

Click here for the link to the Flipkart page

Click here for the link to the Infibeam page

Click here for the Indiaplaza page

Thank you guys and gals. :) You will be hearing more from me shortly ;)

Moving days are here again

In my fifty plus years of life I have changed living quarters thirty-five times. That’s an impressive number, right? And imagine, these are only the ones that I remember. There are a couple of them that I stayed in before such time as I started remembering things. For example, from my parents I have heard about the first house they moved into in Kasargod, which incidentally was right across the road from a movie hall (Yup, they watched all movies that made it there and on my arrival, I tagged along too) and was rented out by KonkaniAmma as they called the houseowner. I met the lady years later when father was once again posted to Kasargod. I still remember how she gushed over 14-year old me in Konkani accented Malayalam. When she had last seen me, I had been just a tiny toddler. Of course talk on the occasion inevitably veered towards how I used to stand on a box (Yes. That was a pre-requisite for the routine. We show-people are like that. We absolutely need a stage to perform. Yessir we do.), whenever I wanted to sing or someone asked me to, and dance to ‘Aaja re pardesi, mai to kab se khadi is paar...” a song from the film Madhumati. Sigh. That’s how early I started calling out to the pardesi to make his appearance. But the pardesi took his own sweet time to get back to me.

Digressions apart, that had been the first house I moved to, from my ancestral house where I was born. There definitely were a couple more houses in between till we moved to the huge old lonely house in the middle of a coconut grove at Manjeshwar, which is the first one that memory gifts. That was where my sister bit me and hence a house I am unlikely to forget. Anyways that’s where I started counting till I reached thirty-five. This number includes one boarding school, two college hostels, not to mention the many government quarters that I stayed in before and after marriage, but not the holidays or time spent with the L & M in places where army allows family for only a few months a year.

The thirty-sixth move, now looming large and close, did not come easy. It had been fun initially, when it became known that we had to move (we stay in a rented house), especially the research part where you wade through ads. The “dedicated” (Oh wow, fancy that!) car-sheds, “virgin” (Don’t tell me we Indians are obsessed with virginity to this level, egad) apartments, the “attached’ (to what?) bedrooms all vied with one another to catch your attention. But all the vying came to nought at the first call one made. Each conversation initiated over the phone sort of ended in the following manner:
Dog?
Yes a dog.
Sorry, no dog.
Okay then. Thank you
.
Click. End of conversation.

I have certain good old prejudices like everyone else I presume. I can never really trust people whose eyes don’t smile and I am wary of those who don’t like animals, especially dogs. They just don’t have a heart, the humans, not the dogs. As for a soul, you gotta be kidding me. Nope, they don’t have one, the humans not the dogs. Dogs are all soul.

Much to my chagrin I found that Trivandrumites are a soul-less lot, anti-dog to the last one of them, the house-owners that is. My opinion about them hit rock bottom with all the nays I got from even those who hadn’t said ‘No pets’ in their ads. Bah! People who loved their concrete homes more than dogs were not worth associating with. I wished I had a house of my own where I could let my pup roam free to scratch walls and doors and say ‘Tchah to you’ to such as them. But unfortunately I did not, so had to beg people to rent them out to me. Nope, I did not actually beg. Catch me begging, especially to soul-less dog-haters! Fat chance of that happening.

OMG, time is running out, I used to tell the L & M. He wasn’t being proactive enough according to me. He was taking things coolly. In fact in the face of no-dog policy of the house-owners, what he suggested had been we give Luci up for adoption. Well, all hell did not break loose, but the sudden chill in the air told its own tale. He did not make the suggestion again. I am not fussy about houses, I am someone who’d adjust anywhere, nor am I averse to new locations. So I’d tell him, ‘Take this or that house, let’s move.’ But he being born and brought up in Trivandrum has affinity to certain areas and reluctance to move out of his comfort zone. I sighed, rolled my eyes, to no effect. ‘Will we ever get a house to our specifications?’  I asked him mournfully one day.

“Somewhere is a house waiting just for us,” he replied rather too optimistically, I felt. And all this while I would have sworn that I was the more optimistic one. Time was running out and I was prone to splurge on good old pessimism for a bit. But pessimism cannot have me for its own for long. I am a natural optimist; the one they say does not even see clouds, because she is walking on them. So back I went to being one, que sera sera and all that, you know. And just like the L & M said, the house meant for us came looking for us through an unexpected call from friends. They were about to rent out their house and had heard we were looking for one. . The best part is what they said when I expressed my misgivings to the Brigadier and wife, owners of the house, that Luci might dig up the tiny lawn in front of their house. They told me to quit worrying about it. Luci will outgrow all that soon, they pacified me. That is what I mean by dog-lovers having a soul.

I generally find that people go all teary-eyed, not wanting to leave the familiar behind. In fact I have seen people beat their chest and lament because a blogging site has closed shop and they are forced to opt for a new one. Nothing of the sort for me.  I relish moves. Once a decision has been made, it is like I cannot wait to leave. I am impatient and raring to go and set myself up at the new place, whether house or blog-site, it doesn’t matter. Most of the time (not always though) as luck would have it, I am helped along by circumstances (either created by living things or non-living things) that make me want to just get out as quickly as possible. This time it is a faulty electric line. I have been boiling in the humid weather since today morning with no power supply. All I want to do now is go to my new house and relax. Of course relaxing is a far way off. But you know what I mean.

So, if you don’t see me in the days to come, it will be due to either lack of time, or because I am not yet connected (God forbid!) to the net. Sigh. Who am I kidding? I will probably be peeping in every day. :P

Note: The pics are all from the house I am leaving behind.

The best-seller

- a 55-er

I found the draft on her table. It held clues to what finally pushed her over the edge into oblivion. She had locked herself away much before anyone could realise she had to be locked away.

I was only a policeman on duty. Yet I knew instinctively, this was going to be her final best-seller.

With Luci’s permission

At last, I thought, seating myself on the familiar chair and staring at the flickering laptop screen. Now let me sit down to write a post. It has been ages. No doubt, it had been a wonderful holiday with my sis and brother-in-law at Kuala Lumpur. But blogging is always blogging. In fact, while there, the good brother in law, who is no longer as roly-poly as he used to be, in spite of  the jelebis and ice-creams he seems to love (sob sob, the same cannot be said of moi in spite of not having either jelebis or ice-cream), did ask me in surprise,

“Not a single blog since you have come down to Malaysia, Chechi?”

Nope, sadly not. I had restricted myself to a picture a day with iron self control. The only time I cheated was when I went wandering off to the Indianhomemaker’s blog to see what was happening. I unwound my rigid stance to make a couple of comments as well. But, there had been an occasion when I was raring to have a go at writing a post, holiday or no holiday. That was when I read how dear old Sita Maiyya had found a new fan in the Indian Judiciary. Imagine someone telling that a wife should be like Sita. Really? Today it is, be like Sita and follow the husband. How soon before it will be, be like Sita and accept your fate if your husband throws you out on your ear? I was so riled that I thought I’d go to bed only after writing the post. When the junior son came wandering hoping to get the laptop from me, sure that I’d be droopy-eyed with sleep and ready for bed by then, all he got was a stern look from me and a pre-emptive,

Don’t you dare ask for the laptop! I wanna write a blog.”

Sigh. But whaddya know, it (what I wrote) simply didn’t turn out as I wanted it to. Being too tired and sleepy with all the walking we had been doing during the day, I capitulated, gave the laptop to the junior and went to sleep. That had been the only occasion I came close to writing a blog.

Getting back home and being welcomed by Luci was wonderful. She whimpered, slobbered all over, and wagged her tail nineteen to the dozen and more.  Bags were opened pronto, to search for the jumbo bone which was promptly gifted to her.  She gnawed, we clicked.

The subsequent days had been busy. The house needed some attention after my absence of two weeks. There was the much needed visit to the doctor. On top of all that, the junior son would be home only for three days more. With iron self control, I decided to keep my itching-to- tap- dance-on-the-keyboard-fingers to myself, only sneaking in to post the holiday pictures and also a poem for OSI.

Finally, the day and time arrived when I could plonk on my favorite chair and stare with delight at the flickering screen, with the intention of going tap-tap-tap once again. Or so I mistakenly though, babe in the woods that I am.

Woof, said a voice politely.

I turned to find gentle eyes looking at me. Luci wanted my attention What do you want, baby? I scratched behind her ears and cootchie coo-ed to her some before turning back to that flickering screen again.

Woof woof.

Then again

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

And in case I did not get the message

WOOF-WOOF –WOOF- WOOF!

And for good measure some more

WOOF-WOOF-WOOF-WOOF-WOOF!

I don’t know if you have ever had a determined-to-pry-you-off-your-chair Labrador bark shrilly into your ears. Believe me; It is not only quite an effective anti-blog-writing technique, but can actually rupture your ear-drums and make you permanently deaf. I prize my ears dearly. They are the only ones that keep me connected to something I love more than anything in this world, MUSIC. So, I reluctantly put aside thoughts of blog-writing, and swiftly got up to obey her commands and play with her.

Yup, Luci has this gargantuan misconception that I am fit to play tug-of-war with her like her brother, the junior son who she is sorely missing.  I cannot even throw ball with my tennis elbow hindering me. But much to my chagrin I found that all Luci wanted had been to get me off the laptop. For, when I wandered into the kitchen and started on some work, the wily dog settled down on the kitchen floor with a huge contented sigh to watch me.  Unbelievable.  She it seems, is okay with me working in the kitchen, but won’t have me blogging. OMG, I wonder if she is my MIL reborn?!   :|

Luci has become real paranoid about letting me out of her sight. She won’t wander off on her own and sticks as close as possible to me at all times. In fact when I was away she was in destructive mode and made a sorry spectacle of the L & M’s spectacles, not to mention how she chewed off the sponge from the insides of his helmet.

Now it has been almost a week since I have been back. Perhaps that’s why she let me write as long as this while sleeping at my feet. So here is to being back and blogging like before.  Oh no, I think Luci heard that.  Okay, okay I am coming, Luci.

The Secret Betrayal between Mothers and Daughters

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photo by Siddharth Singh

by Rita Banerji

Of the many things discussed about mother-daughter relationships, I find there is one that is almost tabooWomen don’t like to hear or talk about it.

The Betrayal

The issue I am trying to broach here is that of a certain betrayal of daughters by their mothers, in the cultural or societal value system…

Read more… 2,018 more words